Yowie? Or not!

You can all blame Constance for this one… It was her news post that got me all caught up in the search for the elusive. Then I read in the local rag (The South Coast Register) that there has been a sighting of a Yowie in Batemans Bay (approx 2 hour drive south of where I live). Here is the story of that (this) fateful day…

The article was full of key words like “mysterious”, “allegedly”, “hallmarks”, “legendary”, and “cryptozoology experts” and that was just the first paragraph! I flip back to the cover of the newspaper, just to check if I was reading “enquirer”, but no this was still The South Coast Register – a knowledgeable and highly regarded journal. I also noted with interest that there wasn’t a picture of this “two-legged non-human creature” (just a digitally created image the newspaper used in it’s online edition -ed) that an unnamed eye witness saw in her head lights, how can they run with such an important story without (dare I say it) a burred image of a humanoid shape.

It was at that moment that I decided to amend this travesty of news-media, nay of the very justice of all things sacred and holy – or at least sensational and media related. I and my trusty companions will get that picture! (insert fan fare of trumpets). (cross fade to telephone, back packs, pack mules, a banana and finally the team fully assembled)

They stood before me, three rough and tough fellow explorers and righters of media wrongs. The elite team of “Today Current Report-ers” (dada da dada da dada da deeee). Angel, the flaming hair beauty whose main skills are animal control, horse-womanship, cleaning, blades and devotion to yours truly. Delta of short brown hair and fiery spirit, she is a Martial artist with knowledge of the occult, bad books and the supernatural. Rev. Bob, big, bad, bald and on God’s Mission, he is the muscle of the group, able to lift tall buildings out of the way, his computing skills are second to none and have proved useful in tight situations – he also is Delta’s partner. Finally myself, a professional actor, photographer, script writer, musician and amateur sleuth. I aimed to get that shot of the Batemans Bay Yowie – or my name wasn’t Dr D!

Filling in the team on the situation I set them to work gathering all the current and relevant information on Yowie sightings in the area. I wanted to know all I could before putting my team in harms way. I had heard reports of the beast having “prodigious strength” and knew that such a being would be dangerous if cornered or threatened.

Our first call of ports was the Internet. I set out with a Google search and sent Delta off to track down any rare texts on the subject. Angel dived into her vast knowledge of animals and set to finding all she could on the possibility of such a creature existing. Rev. Bob gathered all our supplies together, loading up the Landie with all we would need on this harrowing journey into the unknown, known as Batemans Bay.

Below is a summary of the information I have found, I post this here in the advent that should we not return the world will know of our journey and perhaps someone else shall find a clue we might have missed:

Yowie Hunters :-

Sighting and 2 pictures, young man sees the Yowie from a distance, says it moved too quickly to get an accurate picture of it although he has two shots of the ape like creature.

A second sighing this time describing a larger creature possible 7 feet tall, although it was crouched when it passed their car. Note strange lingering smell, could be a clue – note ask Angel about using tracking dogs.

The most reputable sighing I have found so far, the man known to have the most knowledge of the creature ‘Tim the Yowie man’. A quote of his catches my eye and makes me more nervous about our trip into the unknown. “He tells me and my loyal photographer, Marc, known as Gidds: β€œYour British celebrities are right to be scared. The Yowie has been known to throw stones and even trees at people before.”

A more descriptive find is from the archives of our library vault, secured 16 storeys down in our hidden base of operations (I have linked our archival evidence to the group known as the Yowie Hunters so all free spirited men can share our knowledge). Quotes that had been kept secret for years by the authorities, released by Peter Turbet in 2001, it is the only real first hand knowledge from the local Aboriginal tribes. They called him Puttikan and describe him as “shaped like a tall man and had a hairy body with a large mane. His feet were reversed so that he could not be tracked and his skin was so tough that no spear could pierce it.”

This posed more questions to our safety, tracking would be more dependant on the animals under Angel’s control, our weapons may prove useless if it attacks and we already know it’s strength is sometime to be feared. Yet we must continue this journey and get that photo, not just for ourselves but for all media kind.

With no less then 7 sighting reported to the Yowie Hunter for the Batemans Bay area I knew we had chosen the right place to being our search for the Yowie. In all these reports I can see similarities, Ape like man, 7-8 feet tall, large footprints (bigger then a mans), and the most startling fact – it retreats away from people, so it may not be as aggressive as I first feared. There was one fact that grabbed my attention the most – the sighting in 1996 where the creature seemed – to the gentleman who spotted it – know of the dangers of the road, and waited until his car had moved past itself before attempting to cross. This proves that the creature has some intelligence maybe more then we realise.

I know sit egally awaiting the rest of my team’s reports and prepare for our journey.

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