When life gives you…

Perspective is a wonderful thing isn’t it?

On Friday night, a fellow fibre artist and friend of mine opened a sale album on Facebook. Now I normally try not to be comparative (that way lies misery!) BUT she had 65+ items in this folder and sold MOST of them in 4 hours.

She made HUNDREDS of dollars.

Now lemme give you some background info to be fair:

She is an established personality in spinning/fibre circles.

She’s good – VERY GOOD – at what she does. I would never try to diminish her success – she spins beautifully, dyes amazing stuff, and there is EVERY reason why she is so successful.

And we have a different product and a different niche: She dyes commercial roving with commercial dyes, and I dye locally farmed ethical fleeces with plant-based/organic/fair trade dyes. And I add the spiritual side as well.

And I’m comparatively new to the market.

But despite all this I felt INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATED AND DISHEARTENED.

How can she sell all that in 4 hours, and I don’t even sell one item a week?! I pour my heart and soul into my art: I BELIEVE IN IT. I spin sometimes ’til my eyes hurt at night, lovingly tending each skein to completion, and severely underprice myself (often only paying myself $1 an hour and often end up giving lots of stuff away!). And for what?! Is it worth it?! Maybe I should just give it away and find ‘real job’.

I felt flattened. I felt heart broken.

So I went to a movie with my friend Lou, and we grabbed a hot chocolate afterwards, and we got to talking about our grandparents. My German Oma immigrated to Australia in the 50’s. She had no English, was DESPERATLEY poor, and lived in a converted asbestos chook shed with 7 children. My Opa worked on the Warragamba Dam Project and was away for weeks on end, and my Oma supplemented their income by growing tomatoes to sell and milking the family cow.

Perspective.

This isn’t a PROBLEM. It’s annoying. But it’s not a PROBLEM.

So this morning I picked some daffs before Jerry the Goat ate them, and Tara and I baked a Banana and Raspberry Loaf. We ate it warm from the oven. And the washing machine broke down (Grr. But I bet Oma didn’t have a washing machine; broken or otherwise. And she had SEVEN KIDS), so I made plans to go the laundromat until payday. And the vacuum cleaner broke, and I laughed at the irony and took the broken piece out.

Perspective.

It’s not about being mindlessly, irrationally, ridiculously optimistic. It’s just recognizing what is an actual HARDSHIP, and what is a TEMPORARY INCONVENIENCE.

We have everything we need. I’m lucky to be able to do what I’m passionate about, and if I follow my passion, I cant lose. Success will come. And, you know what? The vacuum cleaner works better without that piece anyway 🙂

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Blogging from my bed.

We’re exhausted.

Yesterday I literally cleaned until my fingers bled. This poor old place has not been loved. I hesitated about writing about this for fear of offense, but I don’t think it matters anymore. 
I cannot describe how much Hill Shadow Farm is run down. Yesterday, as I was scrubbing walls and window sills, it was as if the house was a poor old rescue dog getting a bath and a scratch after years of neglect. 

Everywhere there is mould, dog hair, dust, webs, stains, cracks, mud and debris. Everytime I start to clean something, I unearth a can of worms. And what was supposed to take a few minutes, takes hours. Yesterday “I’ll just hang these 2 curtains” meant 4 hours of scrubbing mould and nicotine stains off walls, windows and the inside of the front door. 
I think I may be cleaning, painting, repairing for weeks to come. That’s aside from the unpacking! And cleaning the house we just left for the next tennants there! 
Its all overwhelming and just makes me want to stay here in bed. But just look at this view…

Got any cleaning tips for me?


An odd thing though: I keep finding money! Not much, 20 cents here, a ten cent piece there. Yesterday Ben found 2 old pennies and a half penny dated from the late ’40s! Do you think the house is trying to encourage us? 
Do you believe in ‘signs’?